Why are My Fellow Christians So Afraid of Death?

We’re all going to die, so why hide it?

American Christianity repeatedly churns out messages about the temporary nature of faith and the impact of resurrection. However, we pump our dead full of formaldehyde and lock them inside of heavy caskets and concrete burial vaults under six feet of dirt. In other cases, our dead are cremated as their remains pollute the air and, in some cases, give off volatilized mercury fumes that pose a danger to those around them. To me, it makes no sense to minimize our earthly experiences while we insist upon “respecting" the dead with methods that have negative impacts on the living. This sends the message that people are more valuable when they die than when they are alive: a dangerous message that can exacerbate suicidal ideation or even encourage someone to go through with an attempt to take their own life.

Integrating death positivity into my faith helps me to unpack what’s cultural, what’s from God, and what’s from within. In my opinion, death positivity should be a natural part of Christianity rather than an exception to the rule. After all, we are not supposed to fear what can destroy the body, but the One who can destroy both body and soul.

Death positivity does not mean that I minimize the impact of death or the grieving process, nor does it mean that I have a glib outlook on death or dying. Instead, it means that I believe the following (paraphrased from The Order of the Good Death)

1. That hiding death behind closed doors and embalming fluid does more harm than good to society and cultural values
2. That the silence around death needs to be broken through art, scholarship, discussion, innovation, and other means of spurring cultural change
3. That talking about death, especially my own death, is not morbid but is a natural part of exploring the human condition
4. That dead bodies are not as dangerous as we make them out to be and that people should be empowered to care for their own dead if they so desire
5. That, since death doesn’t discriminate, neither should those who provide end-of-life or death-related services
6. That our way of handling deaths should not cause undue harm to the environment
7. That my family and friends should know what I want when I die in the event that I die suddenly or unexpectedly and that I should be able to easily take those legal steps
8. That death positivity can bring about productive discussions and positive cultural changes

The first time I saw a dead body was the moment I knew I was death-positive. I was a young child at the time, so I couldn’t really put my wonder into words, much less complex ideas. However, I remember that it didn’t disgust me. Instead, hearing about death fueled my curiosity. Doing what any child with access to a computer would do, I turned to the Internet for help on what death entailed. I ended up finding pictures of flies and maggots devouring the sickly green, bloated carcass of a pig. I expected the deceased to look like that, but when I arrived at the funeral, I was pleasantly surprised that he just looked like he was sleeping. There was no pungent odor of rotting flesh or sickly green tinge to him: just vaguely pink skin. Seeing that decomposition had not yet set in, I thought that he must have died very recently. I know now that his jaw was probably wired shut and that he was likely embalmed, but that moment made me curious about death. It also showed me that his family was prepared for his death and that, to some extent, they were able to overcome their cultural hangups to care for the deceased.

An unplanned death can bring about a multitude of stressors, especially when the deceased did not have a specific death plan. For example, if James Finn were to die unexpectedly, I doubt that he would want his life savings to be donated to the NRA or Focus on the Family. Creating a legally binding death plan while one is still living alleviates stress and allows family members to follow a guide to get your body interred, your possessions sorted out, and your money in the pockets of the right people. For many people, a cultural silence death is the one thing preventing them from taking the initiative to pursue something that will prevent unneeded suffering for their family and themselves.

Rather than being afraid of physical death, Christians are called to confront it. Whether that means being a martyr, dying and being resurrected, or simply talking about death in a way that isn’t supposed to be morbid or shocking, being a death-positive Christian is just being a Christian in the sincerest manner possible. Physical death is mentioned throughout the Bible, usually in the context of torture or punishment. However, as seen with both Simeon and Jesus, death can be seen as a form of mercy or relief from the suffering that this life entails.

The verse Job 10:9 resonates with me because it seems that God wants us to be death-positive, even if physical death wasn’t a part of His original plan.

Remember that you have made me like clay;
 and will you return me to the dust?

Shoving death into a little hermetically-sealed box ultimately does a disservice to Christianity because it encourages Christians from examining the greater contexts of Biblical events and diminishes the impact of the Resurrection. To make it clear, you do not have to type “dead body” into your search engine and scroll through the results if you do not want to do that. Instead, the first step to becoming a better, more death-positive Christian is to think about the multifaceted nature of death. Death can be violent and tragic in some circumstances, but in others, it ends suffering and brings about a sense of comfort. Understanding death in all of its aspects ultimately lends itself to a better understanding of the Resurrection and what it entails for Christians.