There’s no “Love" like Christian Hate

Valentine Wiggin
3 min readNov 23, 2023

My faith compelled me to support trans people.

Source: Alexander Grey on Unsplash

I came across a Gospel Coalition article titled “I Love my Transgender Child. I Love Jesus More.” When the anonymous author received news of their child coming out, they were instantly overcome with questions about what they had done wrong.

Huh? I didn’t understand why someone would think this way. Being trans isn’t a result of a parent doing anything right or wrong. No one really knows why trans people exist, but mounting evidence suggests that suppressing transness is unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst. As such, both I and OP’s child believe that Christianity and LGBTQ+ identities are compatible. However, OP wrote that transness “ignores God’s goodness" which suggests they the two are inherently incompatible.

I will not admit that I was a perfect trans ally right out the gate. I struggled with my own biases for a long time, even to the point where I was a bit transphobic. However, once I actually started listening to trans people, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me in an unanticipated direction. I was resistant at first, but then I remembered my favorite verse Romans 12:2. It was then that I realized that I needed to renew my mind.

It was then that I had an epiphany. I had to look at trans people the way God sees them rather than through the eyes of small-minded people who have narrow views of God’s image. They rejected God’s goodness, not trans people.

I saw the principles of my faith playing out in front of my eyes. I saw the shedding of an old self and a metamorphosis into a new self. Scrolling through trans timelines feels like witnessing the dead being reborn. The light in their eyes, the sheer joy, and the comfort in one’s new self all resonated with me on a level I never felt before. It was a privilege to be able to see such transformation laid out before me.

In other words, I didn’t learn how to support trans people despite my faith. I learned because of it. It was an exercise in discernment and faith. I had to learn to distinguish between actual faith in God and faith in man-made constructs. I couldn’t just follow others and use a couple of Bible verses to justify holding beliefs that harm others anymore.

There is no doubt in my mind that some anti-trans Christians genuinely think they are doing the right thing. I thought I was until I learned how harmful transphobia was. When it was clear to me that nothing good came from transphobia, I abandoned it. I can only hope OP does the same and that their child does not suffer because of their beliefs.

On another hand, many other Christians use their faith to rationalize being cruel to others. Unfortunately, this sort of Christianity dominates today’s social and political spheres and is the Christianity many people think of when they think of Christianity. It coerces and domineers while calling it love, which distorts our perception of love itself.

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Valentine Wiggin

Death-positive, sex-positive, and LGBTQ-affirming Christian. Gen Z. I hate onions. She/her