Member-only story
The First Rule of Grindr: Blast From the Past
A young gay man and his oddly familiar hookup
The first rule of Grindr is to not question the existence of the “straight” setting. The second? Your profile pic is your abs. If showing your abs isn’t an option, you can use your face, your feet, or some random meme. I’ve been working out lately, so I opted for the obligatory torso shot. All I had to do now was find what tribe I belonged to and set up the rest of my profile.
I knew I did everything right when I got my first few unwanted dick pics. Now, I like a nice dick as much as the next guy, but would it kill anyone to at least say “Hi” or ask me if I want one? I sifted through endless faceless profiles, Emoji names, and obvious bots and ended up finding two guys who looked decent enough: Tristan and Noah.
Taking my chances, I messaged Tristan since he lived closer to me. We talked for a while about our lives, which seemed to be pretty similar. We both lived in shitty, sparsely-furnished apartments and grew up on boxed mac and cheese. It seemed as though we grew up together, but I couldn’t really put my finger on where Tristan fit into the picture. It didn’t help that he also looked vaguely familiar.
After laughing about what would Donald Trump would be like as the president, Tristan confirmed my suspicions…
