Coming Clean

But not for the first time

Source: Nick Fewings on Unsplash. For those of you who are pun-savvy, don’t even bother scrolling down.

For many people, their sexual and romantic orientations are congruent. The people they want to have sex with are the people they want to hold hands with and kiss as the sun sets behind them. However, that’s not the case with everyone. Some people may find that their relationship between sexual and romantic orientation requires a bit more probing.

It took me a long time to figure out my sexuality because I never had any crushes. I didn’t experience that head-over-heels state of mind where I couldn’t think about anything else but one of my peers. To be honest, I didn’t understand how anyone could feel that way about someone. Sure, I had sexual urges, but I didn’t have romance as a guide for pinpointing them. That made figuring out my sexuality more difficult.

When I first began my foray into LGBTQ-affirming Christianity, I initially pegged myself as Side A. In other words, I accepted same-gender relationships that were consistent with other standards such as commitment, monogamy, and, of course, romance. However, as I grew older, I realized that I simply wasn’t romantically inclined. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the concept of romance, but simply that I never felt that way about someone.

Being aromantic, I find myself alienated from Side A’s loving, monogamous relationship standard. I can’t feel…